The Curse of Flowers
by FieryxEyes731
Summary: ChaseCameron. Set after Human Error, what they do in between seasons. Mild spoilers for season 4. I'm no good at summaries. From fluff to smut to drama. Rated M for a rather smutty chapter 4. R
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything you recognize, but I'm willing to purchase ...not that I'll ever have enough money in my life to...**

**AN: If you're not one for fluff, it gets more dramatic in later chapters. If you are one for fluff, there's still plenty of it. My first fic, so let me know what you think. **

* * *

Cameron hurriedly walked to the car, slightly flushed in the face. She opened the passenger's door, sat down, and stared straight ahead, shocked. 

"So, how did he take it?" Chase's voice had a way of bringing her back to reality.

"He looked kind of surprised, I guess. I can't believe I just did that."

"You know, it's not too late to go and ask for your job back." He sounded guilty, but after all it was because of him that she had quit.

"No," she replied, her voice steadying, "I can't stand to work for someone so selfish and heartless anymore. Let's see how he can handle himself without us for a while."

"All right." Chase wasn't about to push it, he head finally gotten Cameron to go out with him, and turning her back to House would be a very stupid thing to do.

"Where to then?" he asked her. "Back to my place?" He tried not to sound too hopeful.

"I don't care. Let's just get out of here." Her voice was full of disgust. Cameron was obviously still upset from what had just happened.

Chase glanced over at her, nervous as for how to act. He didn't want to come on too strong too soon, especially when she was so shaken. _Just do it_, he told himself over and over. Slowly, he reached out and grabbed her hand, rubbing his thumb over her soft, smooth skin. "You sure you okay?" He hoped his strong accent didn't diminish the seriousness of the question. He wasn't used to this sort of a relationship with Cameron; a romantic relationship, where she was so vulnerable.

"Yeah, let's just go." She managed to force out a small smile as they pulled out onto the street.

The ride back to the apartment was mostly silent, but barely awkward. There was no need for conversation; just having each other was enough to fill the emptiness in each of them. Despite the fact that he was driving at night and in the rain, Chase kept his right hand closed tightly around Cameron's left. His grip comforted her, and she felt sorry of the both of them that she hadn't said yes to him sooner.

_Now that you've got her_, Chase thought,_ don't screw this up. Don't lose her._

They pulled up in front of the apartment, parked, and ran inside, attempting to avoid the rain.

* * *

"D'you want something to drink? Coffee? Tea?" He seemed so nervous. 

"Coffee's fine," she replied quickly.

"Just have a seat and I'll be right back." Chase tried to sound casual, but could feel his pulse quicken. Having Allison Cameron sitting in his living room, right now, and for no less reason than she actually liked him, was almost too much for him to bear.

Cameron sank into the nearest piece of furniture, a big squishy armchair. Somehow, quitting her job seemed to be almost as exhausting as working it. She needed the caffeine as a pick-me-up; she didn't like giving into sleep this easily, no matter how much she had been deprived of it.

A few minutes later, Chase walked in with two mugs full of steaming coffee. She got up, followed him to the couch, and sat cross-legged facing him, drawing a long sip of coffee into her mouth with satisfaction. Out of instinct, or maybe just pure desire, Chase rested his hand on her inner thigh. He immediately wished that he hadn't. Sirens began to scream in his head. _You're coming on too strong_, they cried. _This is a real relationship now; you're not just fooling around anymore._ But doubt left him an instant later when she returned this action with a smile.

"Listen," she began, placing her hand over his, perhaps to insure it wouldn't leave, "I'm sorry it took me so long to-"

"It's fine, really," he interrupted, a little too quickly. "I'm kind of thinking the same thing."

Cameron looked him square in the eyes, trying to get a read. "What do you mean?"

"Allison," She recognized the use of her first name. "I've liked you ever since I saw you. Ever since I set foot into the room with you I've wanted you to be mine. But I was too scared to just tell you this. I watched you fall for House, grow close with patients, befriend Foreman, whatever. And the first time we slept together, you were high and scared. But I slept with you anyway because I thought…hoped that that might change us."

"But you were the one who said we should stop." She seemed unable to keep quiet for long; she always needed to put up a fight.

"I know. Because, well, I don't even know why. I guess because I thought you didn't do it because you liked me, and I didn't want to risk being hurt." His voice grew stronger as he went on, as though his fears escaped with each word his spoke. A lesser man would have shopped by now; would have been ashamed to say this out loud. Cameron knew that Chase was different, though, she just wasn't sure how yet.

"And the new had that thing going, but I was worried that you would find someone else and leave me. So I finally worked up the guts to ask for more, when I shouldn't have. Still, it took me almost three years to ask you." He paused for air, wondering if he was talking too much, too loud, or too fast.

"It took me more than a month to say yes." He hear the understanding in her soft voice, see it in her eyes, and felt relief flood him. "But none of that matters now," she continued. "We're together."

Maybe it was because he needed to, maybe it was because he feared saying something wrong, or maybe it was because he had nothing more to say, but Chase leaned in and kissed the woman he had wanted and loved for so long, all insecurities left behind.

_Together, she said together._ The words rang through his brain, taking a moment to sink in. _Together._

Chase ran his tongue around her lips, asking to gain entry. She gave in after a moment just to tease him, and the tongues met to satisfy their need for each other.

He pinned her down on the couch, straddling her petite frame. Compared tot talking, these actions seemed to come with instinct to Chase. He drew back for a quick smile to Cameron, and then leaned in for more as she firmly unbuttoned his shirt. He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his back, digging her nails into hi shoulders. He let out a moan of satisfaction, and carried her off to the bedroom as she dug in harder, deeper; the mugs of coffee acting exactly as planned.

* * *

**AN: All right, my first fanfic ever. Review please. Constructive criticism **** welcome, same with ** **praise. I won't force you to review, but I won't see a need to continue if I don't get any...**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. More would be nice this time thought. This chapter gets a little fluffy, but it won't last too long. There's a lot of breaks this chapter, sorry about that. I wrote this as one continual story, so the chapters may start and end awkwardly. Hope you enjoy!  
**

* * *

Cameron was the first to awaken, finding herself face to face with Chase, his arm draped protectively over her side. She loved his touch, regretting every moment of not being in his arms. Never had he held her, she wouldn't let him, but now- now she wasn't sure if she could ever live without this.

* * *

_She walks into the locker room, needing to get in and out fast. It's been a stressful day, and all she wants to do is curl up in bed and sleep away the memories of her husband. Having to relive his death, having House mock her for playing the 'dead husband card', having almost drastically altering the entire life of a six-year-old; she needs a break. Then she sees it: a stunning bouquet of flowers with a note attached. 'Not stolen', she reads with a small smile. She turns around, forgetting that he's in here, watching, waiting.__"They're beautiful," she says simply, hoping to give away the least amount of emotion as possible in this statement._

_She steps closer, wanting her words to be clear to him, hoping she'll be more convincing if he sees the them clearly fall from her lips. "I thought about what you said, and..."__she looks to his eyes, not seeing hope, not seeing much of anything; he's hiding. _

_"I really don't want a relationship with you." __ she says__ this firmly, needing to convince herself as much as him._

_"__I know." He looks okay, not like the lonely, rejected man that she knows he is. "I also know you like flowers." He smiles sadly at her and walks out. Maybe it's to give her privacy, maybe he can't hide the sting of her words any longer._

_She looks at the flowers, wishing everything could be different. Wishing she didn't have to be so cold, so hurt, so alone.  
_

_She takes the flowers home, not knowing what to do with them. She considers ripping them to shreds, running them over with her car, stomping up and down on them, anything to get revenge on these innocent plants for torturing her so much. In the end though, they ended up in a vase on her bedside, just so she doesn't have to wake up alone.

* * *

_

Cameron brushed a lock of blonde hair away from Chase's face in order to study him better. He seemed so peaceful when he was sleeping. He no longer looked so contemplative or worried. Her deep gaze seemed to wake him, and he smiled to find her only inches away, despite the fact that the bed was rather large.

"Good morning Rob," Cameron whispered to him. He smiled warmly; the sound of his first name spilling from her sweet lips caused the hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end. "So what are we going to do today? Look for jobs? Call Cuddy? I should go home and feed the cat…" Her voice trailed off.

"Relax, we won't go bankrupt in 24 hours. Let's just never leave these spots." He leaned forward and kissed her softly. He loved how she would hold to him, and let him hold her. Before it had been a tangle of hands removing clothes, his tie and her shirt. Now it was something deeper, she needed him. And after all these years of trying to ignore his feelings for Cameron and let her go, holding her was the only thing he could do.

"We can't just disappear from the world, Rob. We need to talk to Cuddy, see what she had to say about all this." She stood up, abruptly ending their embrace before they wouldn't be able to, and began dressing herself.

"C'mon. One day together doing nothing. Or something. Whatever we want. Give it some time to blow over. Tomorrow we'll go back." He sounded too desperate, but he wanted time alone with her while they still had it. Don't lose her echoed in his head. "Please?" He stuck out his bottom lip in a mock pout, trying to hide the look of need in his eyes.

A laugh escaped her unintentionally as Chase sat up in bed, waiting for an answer. "Fine." She gave in. "One day. And that's it." It amazed him how she could be so vulnerable and stern all in a matter of minutes.

"And that's all I want." He stood up, ran around the bed, and scooped Cameron up into his arms. "What do you want to do?"

She scanned the room with her eyes, searching for how to spend their 24 hours together. Her eyes rested on the bed for several moments, then she pulled herself closer to Chase, never wanting to leave his arms.

* * *

Both lay on the bed, somewhat short of breath. Cameron rolled lethargically on top of Chase, running her fingers through his hair, and then placing her head on his heart. He sort of wanted her to notice the quickening pace. 

"Okay, pre-breakfast sex. I could get used to that." She laughed softly and briefly sucked his neck lovingly.

"You ready for breakfast? What do you want? I'll make it."

'You're making me dread tomorrow," he said sincerely, his blue-gray eyes gazing deeply into her brilliant green ones.

She frowned and looked away; the thought of returning to work did pale in comparison to never leaving Chase's apartment. She lifted herself up then looked down to Chase, whose hands were still on her hips. "We have each other this time." She couldn't face the thought of working at the hospital without Chase.

"Yes we do," he replied proudly as they got up to face the day.

* * *

"Where did you learn how to cook like this?" asked Chase between mouthfuls. 

"My grandma taught me some things. But really, it's only an omelet."

"Well it's the best thing I've ever tasted."

Cameron threw her head back in laughter. "Rob, I've already said yes to you, you don't need to suck up to me."

He swallowed, flashed her a grin, and then kissed her sweetly. Cameron stood up and started heading back to the bedroom.

"I should get dressed, go home…shower and stuff."

"But Ally, it's our day together. You can't leave me. I'll get lonely." He fought hard to keep his smile back. "What's wrong with my shower?"

"I'd like to change my clothes after," she replied from the bedroom.

"Why bother? They'll just come off anyway." He smiled devilishly. Somehow the screaming of not too strong in his head never clearly processed.

She sighed. "How about you come back with me? I don't want you to die from separation anxiety or anything."

"Hey, I very well might." He smiled and returned to the room with her to finish dressing.

* * *

"Would you mind feeding the cat? The food is right next to her bowl in the kitchen. Just give her a scoop. I'm getting in the shower really fast." 

"Okay," replied Chase. "I'll miss you."

He heard her giggle from her bedroom and smirked to himself.

* * *

The door creaked slightly as he opened it, quietly undressing himself. He could smell sweet strawberries, a scent he immediately recognized as her shampoo. He recalled trying to catch a whiff of it whenever she walked by, and how, here he was, mere feet away from her applying it. He couldn't help but feel proud at how far he'd come. It didn't matter how fast or slow things went now. He knew she wouldn't turn him away anymore. They'd grown too close for that. 

Slowly, he pulled back the shower curtain and stepped inside. Much to his surprise, Cameron stood under the steaming water with a grin on her face as if she were waiting for him.

"I- I guess I didn't surprise you," Chase stuttered as he entered the shower.

"I heard you come in. Besides, I've been expecting you. What took so long?" She reached out and pulled him under the hot water that was shooting down from the shower head.

While pinning Cameron to the wall and gently biting her lip, Chase couldn't help but wonder if this whole relationship was right. You have to tell her sometime, and soon, he scolded himself. You need to tell her how you feel. You can't keep this up without letting her know. It's not fair to her. He pulled back, and she took this moment to pin him against the tile roughly, surprising him with her strength.

"Is something wrong?" she asked between kisses, questioning his momentary weakness.

"No," he said softly. "Everything's perfect." The wet hair that hung in front of his face dripped down across his line of vision. "Want to go out to dinner tonight?" he waked, pushing his golden lock back. "I know the perfect place."

"Why? You sick of my cooking already?" she joked.

"No, I think we should get out once. I want to show you off to everyone." He hoped this sounded reasonable, but found himself nervous with her all over again.

She smiled. "Okay, I just hope I'll be able to keep my hands off of you for that long." She winked at him before moving her lips down his body in a firm, intense manner.

* * *

**AN: All reviews welcome. Chapter 3 coming soon...**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: This chapter's twice as long as the previous two, breaking up the story is a little awkward. It's fluff in the first part, but gets more intense at the end. Thanks to my reviewers, but I'm gonna need more than that to continue this!**

* * *

"You finally done in there?" Chase asked as Cameron stepped out of the bathroom, fully groomed. 

"Just because I care about my appearance-"

"How can you be defending spending thirty minutes in there after you've finished showering?"

"Fine, you don't want me to look good for you?" She was beginning to sound defensive, and she had crossed her arms. _This isn't how the conversation is supposed to be going_, thought Chase.

He stood up, pried her arms apart, and gently kissed her hand. "You look beautiful no matter what Ally," he whispered in her ear. She wrapped her arms around him, giving in to the sincerity in his voice. "Whether you've just woken up or spent three days fixing yourself up." He caressed her face. "I've always thought you were the most gorgeous person ever." She began pushing him with her body, steering him to her room. "Even after pulling an all-nighter, you still glow." She crawled up onto the bed, tugging at him to join her. "There's no one in the world I'd rather wake up next to." She hovered over him, pinning his arms down with hers. "And I knew from the start that you were just as beautiful inside as you are out." She leaned into him, smiling and blushing.

"Would you just shut up so I can kiss you now?" His face lit up in amusement as he was drawn under her spell again.

* * *

"Before we leave, Rob, let me know what I should wear tonight." Cameron stood in front of her closet, scanning her pathetic amount of dresses. 

"Anything's fine," said Chase lazily from the bed. "It's not real fancy, but trust me, it's perfect for us," he stressed.

"Okay, well what are you wearing?" she asked, slightly frustrated at the lack of specifics.

"I dunno, I told you, anything's fine. Jeans or something."

She turned to give him an annoyed look, but received a playful wink in return. It was hard to stay angry with a man like Robert Chase.

* * *

"Allison, are you almost ready?" Chase called from his living room. 

"Well, I wouldn't have to keep reapplying my lip gloss if _someone_ would stop kissing me every five minutes."

"Oh, I see how I is. You don't want any more kisses, then you won't get any," he teased, more confident than usual. She joined him in the living room, looking absolutely stunning to him in a simple black tank top and light washed jeans. That top brought back something, and suddenly he remembered where he'd seen it before.

* * *

_He's pinned against her wall as she kisses him sloppily. He reluctantly gives in; Cameron has a way of making him weak like no one else can. He stops, realization smacking him hard across his face. This is no sudden change of heart, she doesn't really want him. "Are you high?" he hears himself ask, as if from across the room._

"_Uh huh," she admits freely, easily ripping his jacket from his back. He doesn't really struggle due to the fact that he's trying to keep his legs from giving out._

"_I thought you disposed of the drugs." All he can force out was this fact, no concern or emotion._

"_Not all of it." He hates how easily she's telling him this, how wrong she's letting him know it is. She starts unbuttoning his shirt, and he's helpless all over again._

"_Uhh, slow down." As if he can allow this to continue, only slower. "Your pupils are dilated. You're not…" His shirt is off and all he wants to do is rattle off facts about her current state._

"_C'mon Chase, don't turn into the good guy on me now." She pulls him in closer, shoving her tongue down his throat. He knows it's wrong, but that can't stop him now. She's pushing herself in more, wanting to get closer that possible, almost as if she wants to become one with him. He can't help but like this feeling of being needed by Cameron. And she controls him like she always does, as her black tank top is torn away from her flesh…_

* * *

Chase shook his head, trying to rid himself of the memory. 

"Well, if you're going to be that way," she said with a smile as she sat down on his lap, putting one arm around his neck, the other on his chest.

He paused, trying to recall what they had been talking about. "Nope, I don't want your-" he broke off as her lips melt into his. He knew he couldn't resist her. She knew it too.

"Don't tell me you have to put more on now," he joked, fully coming back to the present.

She shook her head. "C'mon, let's get going. I'm starved." She stood up from his lap, wrapped her fingers into his, and led them to the car.

* * *

"Here, come sit at this booth in the corner," said Chase, leading her to it. 

"Rob," began Cameron, confused. "Why is this place perfect for us?"

"You may not understand now, but I think you will by the end of the night." The approaching waiter saved him from expanding in response to her quizzical look.

"Hello Dr. Chase and…"

"Dr. Cameron," said Chase hurriedly. "Charlie, is this booth available?"

"'Course it is, doctor. Help yourself," the young waiter responded. "What could I offer you to drink tonight?"

Cameron sat down, and instead of sitting across from her, Chase squeezed in snugly next to his beautiful new girlfriend.

"I'll just have a diet Coke, thanks," said Chase routinely.

"And I'll have the same," added Cameron. "Want to be sober tonight for some reason?" she asked as Charlie walked away.

"Yes, actually. Well, for some time at least." She gave him another confused look, this one sterner than before. "Listen, we can get drunk off our asses later, you'll understand, just trust me." He needed to be sober so she would take him seriously later. He wanted her to believe him, not blame the alcohol for talking.

The young teen Charlie returned with their drinks and took their orders of Philly cheese steaks.

"You do realize how unhealthy this is?" muttered Cameron, more to herself than Chase, as Charlie slouched away.

"That kind of stuff doesn't matter today," was Chase's simple reply.

Cameron looked up at him and smiled at this man, admiring him for devoting so much of himself to them; getting them together, keeping them together, making them happy. She was glad that he chose to sit next to her because she was able to rest her head on his shoulder and her hand on his thigh.

Chase kissed the top of Cameron's head and wrapped his arms around her. It would take a while to get used to the fact that she wanted to be in his arms as much as he wanted her in them.

Cameron began studying the diner. It was small, but cozy, not cramped. The flowered wallpaper was hardly tacky, it added more to the charm of the place. She could see why Chase liked it here. It was so different compared to the sterile white hospital rooms that they spent too much time in. The change was nice. Not exactly subtle, but welcoming nevertheless.

Chase looked down at the woman in his arms, watching her take in the settings. "It's pretty simple," he said dumbly, lacking a better description. "But sometimes simplicity is needed at times like these."

She picked up her head off of his chest and looked at him with her big, beautiful green eyes. "I know," she whispered softly, understanding entirely what he meant.

Chase's eyes fell outside the window to across the street from the restaurant. "Look," he pointed, "there's a carnival over across the street."

Cameron lifted her head again. "Yeah, there is. Want to go win me a stuffed animal?" she joked.

"We could stop by after," he mentioned, smirking.

"Rob, you make me feel like a kid again. With you, the world is really good, so are people. You look for the positive things, even if there aren't any. It's like," she paused, searching for the right words. "When we're together, I know it'll be okay. I understand this isn't a perfect world, but you just make me feel so safe."

He locked eyes with her, no need to respond with words. He kissed her forehead innocently, but firmly. "Allison," he began, "I-"

"Yer sandwiches, doctors," interrupted Charlie in a drawling voice.

"Thanks," said Cameron. He nodded and wandered away. She spared him a befuddled look, and then brought her attention back to Chase. "What were you about to say, now?"

"N-nothing. I mean, I forgot," he sputtered. _That was too close_, he thought._ Not yet, not quite yet. _Chase responded to another of her confused looks with a mysterious smile and let go of her so they could focus on their food.

* * *

"Now where to?" Cameron asked as they headed out the door. 

"I think we should go for a stroll for a bit. You know, walk off that meal."

She looked at him suspiciously. "We just ate."

It seemed she could never go down without a fight. "C'mon, there's something I want to show you." He grabbed her hand, squeezed it protectively, and led her around the back of the restaurant.

"Oh!" She let out an involuntary gasp and he could feel the breath leave her. "Rob, It's beautiful!"

"Yeah, I found this place a while ago. Ever since, I've wanted to bring you. It reminds me of you."

They strolled through the moonlit garden together, hand in hand. There were wild, overgrown flowers of every color and size. Cameron remembered the last time she and Chase were together with flowers; it hadn't turned out so well. She smiled to herself. This time it would be better.

Chase led them to a bench at the heart of the garden, where they sat side by side, a few inches of space between them.

_Now's your moment_, Chase thought to himself. _Don't mess it up._

He reached out and loosely held her hand. "Cameron, I mean, Allison." His accent was so cute when he was nervous. "I-I may not be the perfect man, hell, I'm nowhere close to it. And I may not be the smartest or best looking or most romantic either." She smiled, agreeing with some, but willing to bet against others. "But if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's this." He paused, sucking in a great deal of air. "I love you, Allison."

She stared blankly at him, then looked away as her eyes began to fill with tears. "I know," she said weakly, unable to stop the steady stream from rolling down her cheeks. "But I don't think I love you…yet."

He looked scared, rejected. _She said yet. She said yet._ He knew he was out on a limb here, but he couldn't face the though of being alone again.

"I want this to work for us Robert, I really do. I like you, a lot. And I want to be with you. I'm just not sure how I feel right now, everything's happening so fast." The gap between them on the bench seemed so literal, like a brick wall in their relationship. The tears were still steadily falling down her face. "I'm sorry." Her voice was barely audible.

"It's okay," he replied, even though it wasn't. He could feel the sandwich churning in his stomach uncomfortably, but he new his first priority was to comfort her. He pushed away the feeling of hurt inside of him and put his arm around her. This feeling seemed all too familiar.

* * *

_"Nice catch," she compliments. He shivers at the thought of impressing her._

"_Thanks," he simply replies._

"_Think even House would be impressed."_

_Why did she have to bring him into everything? Why House? He felt bitter. "I don't know about that." He keeps his temper even, it's not her fault their boss is an ass._

"_Any idea how you want to celebrate?" She teases him, just like she always does, and expects him to give in, just like he always does. But this time would be different. He's ready to make his move, the move he's been planning for years, clinging to every shred of hope she'll see the reason he does. "What?"_

"_I want more," he blurts out. _Lacking in both the subtly and romance,_ he thinks to himself as he shifts uncomfortably._

_She fakes a smile. "I thought you were getting a little worn out, but…" He sees through her bluff._

"_That's not what I meant." He knows what's coming, and wishes he wasn't such a goddamn fool all the time._

_A look of anger and annoyance creeps onto her face. "I know. I was just hoping you'd take the hint and pretend you never said that."_

_It's too late for him to turn back now, so he takes a deep breath and tries again, knowing he'll fail. "I want this to be more than it is." He sounds too desperate for her, but he can't simply give up after all this. He has to keep trying. He doesn't want to be alone tonight._

_"I thought we were clear." He hopes there is a reason she's dodging giving a straightforward answer. It's a pathetic hope and he knows it, but it's all he's got to hang on to._

_"In the beginning, but you can't tell me you don't-"_

_"Yes I can. And I don't." She sounds cold, almost inhuman. He vaguely wonders if she can feel emotions at all.  
_

Have any sort of feelings for me. Like I do for you_, he finishes to himself, _I love you_. He lets his heart fall to the ground, giving up._

_"It was…fun. And that's it." She glares. Not to him. To him it was a mix of fantasy and despair. Being with the woman he loved...without really being with her. It was bittersweet for him, and he just wanted to have a taste of what a real relationship with her would be like._

_She breaks the silence that hangs over them this cold, lonely night. "And now it's over."_

_And she walks away from him, leaving him broken on the street. He doesn't want to go home alone, not tonight. But really, he has no choice. Who was he kidding anyways? He walks off the other way, willing to walk around the entire perimeter of the hospital so as not to run into the woman who should be his. He needs to prolong going home anyway. It's too hard for him to face._

_If only he had walked the same way, or grabbed her arm and kept her close to him until she agreed. If only that fool had seen the tears in her eyes as she turned. If only he could see them burning her face now as she dreads he empty house just as much as he does._

* * *

"You still up for the carnival, then?" Chase tried to rid himself of that burning memory. It's better now, he reminded himself. Just give her time. He just didn't know how long he could wait. 

She sniffled, holding back the rest of her tears as Chase wiped her face with his gentle touch. "Okay," she said shakily. She wanted him to understand. Understand how hard it was to try to let herself love again. How much hurt comes with losing the one you've given yourself to. She never wanted to feel that again. She couldn't face that sort of pain anymore.

Cameron let her hand fall into his as he led them across the street. She knew she'd love this man eventually. Fear of love was simply keeping her away.

* * *

**AN: Well, you know what to do, any sort of review is welcome. Send them in if you want a fourth chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Here's where it gets pretty smutty. Forgive me if it's bad, like I said, it's my first fic. Thanks to all my reviewers, let me know what you think of this one.**

* * *

"For you, Ally," said Chase, presenting her with a giant stuffed lion. "You've always reminded me of a lion, actually." His rich Australian accent drew her into each syllable he spoke, causing her to react slowly to what he said, just so she could make each word last. 

"Why?" she asked curiously, her eyebrows lowering in thought.

"I dunno. Because they're so graceful, but also strong. And a bit stubborn too."

"They are?"

"Actually, I don't know. Maybe it's just you." He was rambling to fill awkward gaps in the conversation, forcing his voice to sound playful. Chase tried more than anything to drive the sting of her words out of his skull.

She smiled weakly. "Want to go on a ride?" She glanced around at the fluorescent lighting of every color.

"Sure. Which one?" He was glad for something to distract him from all of the pain.

"Let's go on the Ferris Wheel. It's right here."

They waited in line almost like two strangers, exempt from the fact of their intertwined hands. The woman, deep in thought, played with the mane of the lion tucked under her arm. The man followed the rotation of the wheel with his eyes, around and around. She stole a glance at him. How she needed those eyes, to keep her safe, sane. To wink at her playfully or gaze deeply into in times of lost hope. To forewarn her of the bad or fill her with joy.

They boarded their ride, not sitting as snugly as each of them have liked to. The smell from dinner had worn away, and Cameron could make out the scent of cologne sprinkled on Chase. Mixed with his natural scent that she subconsciously lived to catch a whiff of, well, she could imagine nothing better. She began to inhale deeply, never wanting to forget this, forget him.

"You nervous?" Chase asked, taking her deep breathing in the wrong way.

"No," she said, slightly defensive. "You?" This was more playful.

"'Course not," he said, leaning back and, as casually as he could while still giving her space, he draped his arm over the back of the seat as the ride began to move.

Cameron's stomach lurched, but not from the motion of the wheel. How even his fingertips brushing her back could send chills up her spine. It was as If these shivers sent a message to her brain, causing her stomach to flip again. Realization hit her. She moved much closer to Chase, her gaze fixed ahead, unfocused.

The ride slowed to a halt and passengers began unloading. Cameron and Chase were stuck at the top waiting when the words came spilling out of her mouth.

"Robertiloveyou."

"Come again?" he asked earnestly, even though he head heard her clearly. His heart began to lift from where it had fallen in the pit of his stomach.

"Robert chase," she said slowly, looking him straight and hard in the eye. "I love you."

Her tone was firm, yet sincere, and no more words were needed as he drew into her for their most intense embrace yet. The kiss of love.

Time seemed to freeze as they sat, suspended in air, the city full of lights and noise left below them. Nothing else mattered for now, wrapped in each other's arms, tongues, hearts. They felt complete.

* * *

She pushed him out of the car, down onto the cold lawn. He strawberry scented hair awakened his senses more than he thought possible.

"We can't do it here," Chase panted.

Cameron responded while sucking hard on his neck. "Why not?"

"Busy street. Apartment. Other people," he gasped out as she began unbuttoning his shirt and dug her long, red nails deep into his chest.

_Be firm now_, he told himself. _Do not have sex here._

He shoved her off of him and stood up. She punched on his back, dragging her nails down wherever she could. She wrapped her legs around his. He staggered as he tried to make it inside. Chase hiked her legs up higher and ran clumsily while she attempted to pull his already undone pants down with her toes.

She fought with him as he fumbled to find his key. She bit down hard on his ear, but he retaliated by dropping her legs, causing her to have to stand on her own. Cameron tried to jump back on him, but he pinned her to the door as he found the right key.

"Oh no," he grunted to her. "Not again."

The door swung inward as they collapsed on the floor, Cameron punching and biting and doing whatever it took to gain control, though they both knew he could easily overtake her. They fought roughly back and forth for a few moments before Chase realized tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"Allison? Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

She mutely shook her head, trying to pull him back down on top of her.

He refused. "What's wrong?" There was too much concern in his voice for the question to be ignored. She blinked, tears continuing to leak from her eyes unintentionally, for the second time that night. "C'mon." He hoisted her up, led her to the kitchen, and sat her down in a chair. "Cam, what's going on?" He used her last name, or part of it at least. Personal, but still, it reflected the seriousness of the situation.

Chase sat down next to her, and she leaned into him, gushing emotions onto his half unbuttoned shirt. "I'm so sorry." Her muffled voice came from his chest. He could feel her hot breath and cool tears together tickling his bare flesh.

"For what?" he was scared. He now wished he had slowed it down, given her more time and space, listened to the nagging voice in his head, over and over.

"It's just- really hard. Hard to love anyone else besides him." She was referring to her late husband. "It feels so wrong. I feel like I'm cheating on him or something. It's just so…" She let out a large sob, and for the lack of having anything else to do, Chase began to stroke her back, touching her loose curls carefully as he did. "I-I don't know. I don't think…I can't love you. Or…I don't love you. Right now."

His heart sank quickly for the second time that evening. But he had to be strong, for Cameron. "I understand" chase had no clue why he said that, he didn't know what it was like at all to have a dead spouse. "I mean, I understand that it will take time to learn how to love someone else. I know you're scared and hurt and confused," he paused, silently stroking her hair. "But I'm willing to wait for you."

She pulled back from him, trying to look into his eyes, but the tears still obstructed her vision. Neither had much to say.

"Rob, I'm not trying to take advantage of you or anything. I really do like you. Loving in just…a bit too much right now." She needed to get that out and in the open, it was important for him to understand.

"It's okay, Allison," he said hurriedly. "I trust you."

She wiped her tears away and smiled weakly. "I trust you too.

He dabbed her dry cheeks with his sleeve. "C'mon. I promised we could get drunk tonight. Let's try to calm down," said Chase, pulling out a bottle of wine.

Together they drank away the bottle, their hearts a little lighter with each glass. Then Chase brought out some scotch and a shot glass, and the y both downed enough to make it nearly impossible to remember their own names.

Cameron was rather unsteady, and she fell into Chase's arms clumsily. She looked up to him and smiled wickedly. "Bed," she whispered, and he dragged her out of the kitchen.

He tossed her onto the bed, the mattress springs screaming. For some reason, this made Cameron laugh loud and long. He lifted himself onto the bed and threw himself on top of her. She groaned in agony, but pleasure also, he could sense it.

She bit hard onto his lip, the taste of blood filling both mouths. He drew back sharply and she rammed her foot into his gut. He fell over to the side, but he wouldn't let her get the better of him. She rolled on top of him, but he pulled her long hair and she rolled off.

He sat on top of her, his mind blurred and he didn't know what to do. He was in control now, so he simply ripped her shirt off. It was more difficult than usual due to her struggling against him. She ripped his shirt all the way open, and the sight of her red nail marks still embedded in his chest made her eyes fill with satisfaction. He groaned. Remembering his pants were already undone, he ripped off his belt and used it to bind Cameron's arms together. He pulled the strap tight around her wrists. He could see the leather cutting into her skin.

She screamed, writing her way out of the belt. She squirmed out from under Chase, and then pounced onto his back, making sure to dig her nails into the saw raw, red skin as before. He let out a loud moan and threw himself backwards onto her. He ripped his pants off, and he rolled over, doing the same to her. She could no longer claw Chase from this angle; and upon withdrawing her nails, six marks began to trickle blood.

Both stopped and stared at the trails of blood. Cameron looked impressed with herself, like she had just won a prize. Chase felt these wounds as if they weren't his, like the person next to him was injured. He saw the pleasure in her eyes and was turned on all the more.

They both felt lost, with each other and themselves. Blood, sweat, and the strong stench of alcohol clouded their minds. Their drunken presence and current emotional state were too much to face at the moment. They ignored their sufferings of the past and future and tried to replace pain with pleasure. Somehow, it just didn't fit.

Being this rough, so harsh and violent, was different. Before when they were together, they knew where their place was: dating, enjoying each other's company. Now it got difficult. One felt one way, the other didn't. They were making love, but not as lovers. Everything seemed all wrong, but neither of them was able to fix it, so they it continue for their own selfish desires.

He unhooked her bra in the front and tore it our roughly from under her. Cameron winced. She ripped off his boxers and he let her, because he now felt in control.

He pinned her hands down and grasped them tight. He glanced around and swiftly (as swiftly as one can while this drunk and confused) grabbed the belt off of the bed. Chase strapped her to the post at the end. Despite her strong and constant struggle, the influence of the alcohol wouldn't allow her to free herself again. Slowly, he began touching her body, allowing his fingers to delicately caress each curve, lingering longer over her ticklish spots. Since he was sitting on her feet, all she could do was beg for mercy.

"Rob!" she gasped. "Please!"

"More?" he asked smirking.

"No, no," she moaned. "Robert!"

He stopped this, and then began to slide his fingers one by one down her panties. Three fingers in, he changed his mind, and began licking and kissing her body. She may be able to make him bleed, but he could keep her waiting. He knew he couldn't play with her too long though, so be began sucking her everywhere, hard. The scattered marks remained oh her body, still glistening with saliva as he finally decided to remove her panties.

He ripped her legs open, stretching her to her limit. He was always impressed by her flexibility. He began to circle his fingers around her clit, then stopped. She moaned.

"Please, Rob, please."

He plunged his finger into her, the others following suite, one by one. But he abruptly changed his mind again and withdrew them, slowly moving his mouth closer to her. How he could see the desire in her eyes; her need for him. His mouth wrapped around her, and she tightened her legs around his neck. She pushed up, driving his skilled tongue in deeper. He couldn't help but nibble softly as her sweet taste filled his mouth and he slid his tongue in and out slowly.

Chase could feel Cameron start up, like a new car, ready for a drive. He undid the belt as she unleashed her strength. She flipped over so her head rested on a pillow. She moaned softly, "Come in, please."

He thrust himself into her and she began to scream "Harder! Harder! Robert…" He smiled, pushed more, and prayed to God that they'd remember this in the morning. Her back arched, pelvis grinding on pelvis, but tonight they were on two different rhythms. Neither of them seemed to notice much, they were still getting the job done. Chase felt her climax; her muscles tensed everywhere, her back bent unnaturally far, and sweat poured from every pore on the both of them. It came on hard for the both of them; screams shook the walls.

"Chase!" Why his last name?

"Cameron!" he copied.

"Robert!" He liked that.

"Allison!" So did she.

"Rob!" His favorite.

"Ally!" Her's too.

* * *

He had kept her going for a half an hour. He had controlled, dominated. She was at his mercy then, but he was still more physically injured. He didn't mind, though. Hurting a girl was not right, in Australia, at least. As they lay side by side panting, he flopped on to her and roughly bit her bottom lip, her ear, her neck.

He heard her breath change sharply. "What was that for?" They were both still winded.

"For this." He lifted himself off of her and showed her the dried blood down his body.

"Sorry," she whispered. He could tell she was exhausted, but this seemed to clear her mind as remorse sank in.

"No, it's fine," he said happily, rolling back over to the side. "Just don't expect me to go so easy on you next time. She giggled, still struggling to steady her breath. They finally both calmed down, Cameron drifting into a heavy sleep, Chase laying awake, wishing that he had drunk more; for all he could do was think of the harsh fact that she simply couldn't, wouldn't, didn't love him.

* * *

**AN: Please let me know how it went, even if you hated it. I want 5 reviews to continue. Constructive ****criticism especially welcomed. )**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Okay, this chapter has a lot of dialogue in it, but I needed to put it in somewhere. There will probably be 7-8 chapters total, and the drama just keeps unfolding. Thanks to all my reviewers, you're all fantastic. :)**

* * *

_He busies himself at his locker, waiting for her to come. He's in no rush to get home; no one's waiting for him. She finally walks in, and he turns his back to her suddenly, waiting for her to notice._

_"They're beautiful." He takes this as his cue to turn around and acknowledge her. He presses his back against the cool locker, trying to prevent his core temperature from rising to boiling. She's holding the flowers, and they look better for her than he could have ever imagined. He realizes he's holding his breath._

_She steps closer, and he wants to run forward and kiss her more than anything, but he knows that he can't. He knows she can refuse him; she's done it before. "I thought about what you said, and…" she pauses, and he wonders if he's turning blue from holding his breath for so long. "I really _don't _want a relationship with you."_

_He hates how she stresses the negative in the sentence. As if he wouldn't be able to understand if she spoke normally. But then again, he's not really sure if he would have gotten the hint at all. He hates how she can make him doubt himself. He hates how he loves her._

_"I know," he lies. He had no idea coming in here if she'd accept him or not, but he'd prepared for rejection and is able to hide it well. He was used to it, from her, from his parents, from anyone who knew him basically. "I also know you like flowers." He manages to force out a small smile to try to convince her that she doesn't need him, but inside he feels like she'll just eat away at him until nothing's left. He realizes that he's closer to the exit, so he leaves first; giving her time to enjoy her time alone and himself time to wallow in rejection._

_He throws himself in his car and slams his head on the steering wheel. He knew this could happen; he'd prepared himself for it. But he also knew she could say yes. He knew that tonight could be spent with her instead of alone. He'd thought this through, everything from the note that only she'd understand to the color of those damn flowers._

_If only things could be different. If only he didn't have to feel so cold, so hurt, so alone._

* * *

Chase woke startled and confused, then realized he was listening to Cameron throwing up in the bathroom. He tried to clear his head from the vivid recollection. You can't keep remembering all of the bad things about her, he told himself. She's yours now. Well, almost. The sound of her vomiting made him feel sick too, and he stumbled over to the bathroom and leaned over the toilet.

After finishing puking his guts out, Chase went over to the sink where Cameron was still retching. Forcing himself to hold up his head, which was in a great deal of pain, he stood next to her. He reached out and gathered her dark chocolate locks of hair into one hand, and used the other to push her bangs as best he could behind her ears. He then began stroking her back, waiting patiently. He supposed the drinking had less of an effect on him because he was larger than her and more used to it. His body was naturally more tolerant.

She finally finished, washed her face, and stood up. "Thank you, Rob," she whispered.

"Any time." He smiled affectionately, and then kissed her warm forehead gently. "Let's get back to bed and sleep this off." He also whispered.

* * *

The loud ringing of Chase's phone startled both of them awake. Every noise and light seemed to be magnified by a thousand. 

He sat up miserably. "Hello?" he answered, ever so softly, hoping the person on the other end would mimic this tone.

Unfortunately, she didn't. "Dr. Chase? Can you hear me?" Cuddy's voice rang loudly in his ears.

"Uhh, yeah," he said, rubbing his temples. "What's up?" _Cuddy, Cuddy, he racked his brain. You were supposed to…to call her today?_ He felt so confused.

"Chase I need you to come down to my office today around two. Can you make it?"

He blinked at his clock, his eyes sliding in and out of focus. 12:23. "Yeah, I'll be there at two. Thanks."

"Did I wake you?" she asked sternly, like a mother scolding her lazy teenager."

"Yeah," he replied sheepishly. "It's fine though. Two's fine."

"All right," she said warily. "Good bye."

He heard the click of her hanging up, then turned to Cameron. "You up?" he questioned. "Cuddy's about to call."

* * *

After Cameron received the same request as Chase, both had dressed, and Chase had thrown together some hand sandwiches, he decided it was time for them to talk. 

"Allison," he spoke softly, their heads still remained extremely sensitive. "I think we should talk about last night."

Her gaze dropped to the floor, but she felt his warm, strong hand cup her face and bring her focus back to him. "What about it?" she mumbled.

"I dunno." He felt stupid. She was supposed to take over here. Why did he start this conversation? "I thought you might know what to say," he admitted. She was supposed to handle this awkward situation gracefully; this was female territory, emotions and whatnot, he was really just waiting for three simple words…

"Oh." She decided to play dumb. "Sorry I was such a…control freak. And so abusive. It must have been the alcohol…way too much…plus PMS…I need more control in my life…don't want to lose you…" She knew he could see through it. Curse those steel-blue eyes, for knowing her so well, for making her weak.

"Not that." His voice was less than a whisper. He needed to know, he deserved to understand.

"I know. I didn't mean to give you mixed signals. It just, happened. I trust you, Rob. I know you love me. And I like you. A lot." He had been ready for it this time, the disappointment stung less. "Last night, my head acted without my heart. All the signs said love, but I didn't feel it inside. And I tried to just go with the logic. But all I could think about was Mike." She seemed to have run out of tears from last night, or maybe she was just more in control now. Either way, he was grateful she wasn't crying over her dead husband again. "I can't help but feel this way. My heart never had a chance to grieve because it was so confused with Joe." Wilson had told Chase about her husband's best friend, he just hadn't wanted that ex-love to come up, here, now. "I don't know how to let myself love anymore." She looked up, waiting for him to turn away; to leave her alone again. No one wants to be with someone who can't love, someone so heartless.

Much to her surprise, his eyes seemed full of sorrow and pity, not regret or anger. "Allison, I understand. I'll wait for you. I'll teach you how to love again." His warm stare met her lonely one, and her who self filled with gratitude. For the first time in years, she didn't feel alone.

She fell into Chase's arms, wrapping hers tightly, protectively around his neck. Cameron's head eased onto his shoulder and he cradled he gently, for as long as she needed, he would wait for her.

* * *

Cameron blindly walked to Cuddy's office. The pain in her head blurred her vision and the hospital chaos only added to that head pain. She hoped the medicine she took would kick in soon. The only thing guiding her was Chase's strong hand, grasping hers tightly. He led her to the elevation, where she rested her head on his shoulder, then down the hall to talk with Cuddy. Cameron barely noticed the glares she received from some of the nurses. She had what they all wanted. Not simply a gorgeous Aussie with fantastic hair, but a man who would go to any length to make his woman happy. 

They walked into Cuddy's first room, took seats on the couch, and waited to be called into her office. True, they sat next to each other, but their hands now remained to themselves and the only way in which they touched was one leg casually brushing the others. There was no denying that they were a couple now, but it was time to act mature about it, they'd agreed. No more kissing in the halls, passing notes, they weren't to act like overly emotional, hormone-raging teenagers. (At least not in public.) They were to act like themselves: two lonely doctors seeking comfort in each other. Searching for love.

Cuddy's office door opened, and she led Foreman out. He looked triumphant, and the sight of his old co-workers brought an even larger smile to his face.

"Hey Cameron, Chase," he said, nodding to each of them. "How's it been?"

"Pretty good," replied Cameron softly. Chase nodded in agreement.

"How 'bout you?" The Australian wondered what made him look so gleeful.

"Actually, I just accepted a job at Mercy Hospital. Gonna be heading my own diagnostic team."

They both offered their congratulations and were then ushered into Cuddy's office.

"Please, have a seat. I- I assume you don't mind doing this together? I figured you would, House mentioned that you two were-"

"It's fine," said Chase, trying to ignore the pain in his head.

"All right." She paused, hoping she wouldn't be delving into unsafe territory. "So, are you two…seeing each other, then?"

"Yes," replied Cameron steadily. Her hard stare seemed to drill into Cuddy, daring her to object to it now.

"Well then." Cuddy looked away uneasily from Cameron and began shifting through some files on her desk. "There's a position at a hospital in Arizona that would fit for both of you. They need good intensivists and immunologists, and there's a chance you'd work together. The only problem is it's so far away. There are openings here, but I'm sorry to say your salary would drop significantly. I've got a list of other openings here for you two, but Arizona's your best bet. Decent hours, nice pay-"

"Thanks," interrupted Chase. "You've certainly given us a lot to think about."

Cameron nodded in agreement, hoping to get out of this meeting as soon as possible.

Cuddy looked confused, wondering why the two of them were in such a hurry to leave. Cameron's eyes were bloodshot, and Chase seemed to droop in exhaustion.

"Well," she started slowly, handing them each packets, "let me know when you come to your decisions. I'll notify the hospitals." She hesitated. "Good luck."

"Thank you," said Cameron, stiffly and quietly.

"We really appreciate this," responded Chase sincerely, glancing at Cameron to signal her to get up. "We'll keep in touch."

They walked out the door and headed to the elevator, wondering if this was the last time they'd be in these familiar halls.

The elevator came to a halt on the first floor and the doors slid open.

"Cameron? Chase?" The familiar voice caused the pair to dart their eyes around, looking for the speaker.

"Dr. Wilson?" It was Cameron who spoke this time, much more strongly than she had in Cuddy's office.

"What are you two doing here?" he questioned, quickly walking up to them.

"Had an interview with Cuddy about where to go from here," replied Chase. "Looks like Arizona's pretty promising for the both of us."

"Arizona? Wow." Wilson seemed lost in thought. "It's weird without you here now. It's like…the ducklings all grew up and moved away."

The two smiled weakly, neither had particularly liked being referred to as a duckling.

"House misses you, you know," continued Wilson, glancing around cautiously, not sure if he should be revealing this. "He won't admit it to anyone, but I can tell."

"How's he doing?" Cameron asked hesitantly.

"Has he replaced us yet?" Chase questioned.

"NO, he's been insisting on working alone. He's overworked and overtired. Cuddy's not gonna let it continue for much longer. She sees he's not doing well." Wilson failed to mention House's hallucinations of the three ducklings, figuring it was best if kept quiet. "Well, good luck to both of you." He stepped forward to shake Chase's hand and hug Cameron goodbye. They walked out together, leaving Wilson to feed off of House's loneliness.

Chase led them to the car and started the engine, wincing slightly as it roared loudly. He felt a strange sensation in his pocket, and then realized it was his phone vibration.

The Caller ID read Cuddy. Confused, he flipped open his phone. "Hello?" he asked uncertainly as Cameron gave him a weak, confused glance.

"Dr. Chase, I'm sorry to bother you again. I hope you haven't left yet."

"No, not yet." He replied, wondering what on earth she needed.

"Oh, good. You just left some unfinished paperwork here regarding your termination." He frowned. _I was fired_, he thought harshly. _Why can't she just say that? _"Do you have a moment to come back and take care of it? Sorry, I forgot to mention it before. It won't be long."

"Yeah, that's fine." He unbuckled his seatbelt. "Is Cameron all caught up?"

"Yes, her resignation letter covers it all. Thanks."

"All right, bye." He hung up and turned to Cameron. "Cuddy's got more paperwork for me. I won't be long."

She nodded, her eyes closed. "Okay," she mumbled, half asleep.

He kissed her on the forehead and walked back to Cuddy's office. She opened her door, led him in, and gestured for him to take a seat.

"Dr. Chase, I need to talk to you alone now."

"There's no paperwork?" He wondered what she was up to.

"Chase, there's another offering in Arizona. For you, not Cameron." She was trying to keep her voice even while attempting to manipulate him into making the right decision. "They've offered a position to you as head of their intensive care unit, a much better offer than the other. Almost double the salary."

His mind began spinning. He knew what a good opportunity this was. "Why couldn't Dr. Cameron hear this?"

"She didn't receive a similar offer. I wanted to give you the opportunity to accept without…any other pressures."

He looked at Cuddy in the eyes, defensively. "What do you mean?"

"Chase, if you took this job, it would mean you and Cameron wouldn't see each other. Two different departments, two different specialties, two different jobs. I don't want her to hold you back."

"Hold me back?" he sounded distrustful, but then thought about it logically. If Cameron were here, would he be able to look at he and tell her he was choosing not tow work with her anymore? Would he seem too selfish putting his career in front of his love life? _Or _lack _of love love life_, he thought bitterly.

She saw him reasoning it out in his head. "We wouldn't have to tell her."

He looked up sharply. "Huh?"

"I said before that you two might work together. We could tell her it was a misunderstanding. She doesn't have to know if you willing chose not to work with her."

It seemed so cruel put that way. He wanted Cameron and he wanted this job. True, he could se her outside of work, but would it be fair to lie to her?

Cuddy looked at Chase, her eyes softening a little. "You've got time to decide. I figured you'd hear me out more if you heard me alone. Just let me know as soon as you make up your mind."

"Okay, thanks. I'll keep in touch." He grabbed the file with all of the information about this wonderfully horrible job and walked to the elevator, still dazed.

He was so astonished that he didn't even notice who was standing in the elevator when he stepped in. He didn't notice until he heard the familiar voice bring his train of thought to a screeching halt.

"Dr. Chase," said Gregory House, in his infamous mocking tone. "How's life been treating ya?"

* * *

**AN: So this chapter's a bit different from the others, I think. I just needed to get all the characters in. Review please. What did you like the best? What did you hate the most? (I'm still fascinated by the fact that people think I'm good.) So review! The next chapter gets pretty intense...**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: So today wasn't a good day. This chapter still wasn't done, and**** I drove into a tree. Stupid really. We have to replace the hood on our car.**** I've had my permit for a week, and we need to make an insurance claim, Oops. Just need to get that off my chest. Okay, sorry this chapter took a while to get up. I was trying to stretch it out, and it ended up being about 1,000 words longer than planned. Gets kind of angsty here, but the whole thing couldn't be fluff. **

**Thanks to my reviewers, I just wish I had more people to thank. (Subtle, I know.) I like this chapter a lot better than the last one, so enjoy!  
**

* * *

"House," Chase managed to sputter out. "Uhh, good." _He fired you_, he reminded himself. _You're pissed at him and you have every right to be. You don't work for him anymore._ "Why, does it matter to you?"

House mocked shock. "Of course it does. I always like to follow up on the rich ass-kissers that I fire." Chase stared straight ahead, begging the elevator to move faster. "How's your girlfriend doing?"

"Fine, now that she's got away from you." He couldn't resist rubbing this in to House.

"So, she tell you that she loves you yet?"

Chase was caught off guard. "What?" How could he possibly know?

House sneered. "I'll take that as a no." He paused. "And she's not going to."

"What?" repeated Chase, growing more frustrated with each passing second.

"And everyone think I'm the addict," House stated while popping a Vicodin into his mouth. Chase was fuming. "She only wants to fix you. You're damaged enough for her to care now. Congratulations." His tone had grown cold now, something Chase was used to.

"House, what the hell are you talking about?" He felt his temper rise and struggled to contain it.

"Orphan. Alcoholic mother. Unloving father. Very secretive. And now unemployed. You lost the best thing that you had left, your job. And no offense," he added, with all intention of offending Chase, "but that's pretty pathetic. She'll stay with you until she gets bored. Or she finds someone more damaged to fix. Why do you think she's a doctor?"

"House, shut up." Chase didn't realize that the elevator had stopped on the ground floor and the doors had opened. He would have never left had House not led him off. He continued to follow him, his heart pounding somewhere near his ears. He hated what he was hearing, but he needed to hear more of it.

He stood in the lobby, glaring at his former boss. He didn't know what to say, because House was always right. _Her dying husband, her grieving friend, her crippled boss, and now me_, he listed in his head. As much as he wanted to believe Cameron was still grieving for her husband, this made sense too. More sense. He hated how House was such a good judge of character when his own personality sucked so much.

He watched Chase with an eerie delight. "See? Do I know how to call 'em or what?" He turned and started walking toward the door.

"You're wrong," called Chase lamely. How long would it be until she left him for someone else? Someone more damaged, someone more broken.

Chase stormed out the opposite way and headed to the car, his mind reeling. He opened the door and found Cameron sleeping peacefully. He was unsure whether or not he should wake her, but decided to leave her alone as he drove back to his apartment.

He picked her up in his arms, hating himself for doing so. He wished it could be different. He wished he loved someone else. He wished Cameron could love. He wished Cameron could love him for who he was, not how he is. He wanted unconditional love from this woman, not simply a repair.

Chase stood in the living room, debating whether he should place her on the couch or bed. He supposed she deserved a chance to defend herself, though he didn't know how she would. Still, all hope was not lost. He placed her lovingly on the bed, cursing at himself for being so soft.

He returned to the living room and sat wearily on the couch. He took the file from cuddy off the table where he'd tossed it moments ago. He had no idea what to do. He wanted to hop on a plane and fly to Arizona, leaving Cameron to wake up to his smell lingering in the air, tinged with a sort of hopeless despair. But at the same time, he wanted to crawl up in bed with her, wrap his arms around her tightly, and feel her love for him, even if she couldn't.

He looked at the papers in his hand, realizing he had curled and ripped up the corner of one page. Sighing, Chase placed the packet in a rarely used drawer next to the couch. He tried to busy himself with the TV, but nothing could distract him from the floods of emotions inside.

_Should I confront her? Or should I trust her? The woman's not heartless, for Christ's sake. She just…can't love…_

His brain tossed around ideas, but none seemed to satisfy him. He didn't want her pity. He wanted her love. He wanted to trust her. He wanted this job. He didn't want to leave her side.

Chase drifted off into a restless sleep, with dreams full with falling, failing, and remorse.

* * *

_She follows him into the hall a moment later, deciding she needs some caffeine too. Or maybe she just wants to talk to him without forcing conversation out over environmental sources and tests. No, she'd rather force conversation over coffee, apparently._

"_Don't get the mocha-chino. Somebody screwed up and put hot chocolate in the dispenser."_

"_Thank you." She hopes he takes this as an apology. She hopes that simple thank you holds deeper meaning. She hopes it's forgiveness._

"_You were right." She wants to stop there and fall into his arms, telling him they should be together, but she knows she can't. She's not allowed. "An eight-year-old kid grabbed my ass." She doesn't know why she's telling him this. "I shouldn't have encouraged him."_

_He laughs. She melts. "Well, I was a boy once. I know how they think."_

_She knows she's off topic, but she likes how they can converse normally now. Maybe she doesn't have to bring it up at all. "You were a pervert at eight?"_

"_Maybe…" He glances around playfully. She's fighting every fiber in her body to stay off of him. "Eleven." He laughs again. She melts again. She can't even remember what he's said eleven for._

_She stops herself. She knows she has to get it out in the open now. She can't keep leading him on, leading herself on. "I didn't realize you were going to get hurt. I'm sorry I misled you." So well rehearsed._

_Initially she feels pride for making herself so clear, but it fades quickly at his words._

"_You didn't." She tries her hardest to look confused, tries to hide herself again. "You have feeling for me. You've come back to me again and again-"_

"_For sex," she interrupts. She can't let him piece it together, for him, for her. "It's a simple, physical…" Or far from that, really._

"_C'mon," he now cuts in. "You have feelings for puppies and patients that you barely know, but when it comes to a guy that you've worked with for three years…" He gently takes her hand as his soft voice mesmerizes her. She looks down at his touch, ashamed, angry, that she can't pull away. She doesn't even flinch or shudder as she normally does under his touch. She knows this isn't going well. "Had sex with, spent the night with, you're telling me you feel nothing? Absolutely nothing?" His speech seems as well rehearsed as hers did, maybe more._

No, I'm telling you I _want_ to feel nothing_, she thinks. Vaguely she wonders how long her hand has been cradled in his, how much longer until they're closer and she still won't be able to resist him…_

"_Get away from her! Don't touch her! I'll kill you if you touch her!" She turns and freezes right there as the kid flies out of now where on top of him, breaking the contact that she was so unable to._

"_Jasper!" she calls, hoping he'll come, knowing he won't._

"_Get him off! Ahh, he's biting me, get him off! Ahh!" She rushes forward, knowing that he could, and should, overtake the brat. Risking injury to him, charges being pressed; he was acting smartly though she knew it was taking all of his willpower to not throw the child across the hall. Luckily the kid doesn't resist to her touch as she pulls him away, and she knows that _he_ wouldn't either._

_She holds the runt back, angry at him yet relieved at the same time. He'd stopped her from giving in, from saying or showing too much. He'd bought her more time._

_He holds up his arm to look at the bleeding bite, and a fleeting image of her inflicting a similar wound to his lip flashes through her. She shakes it away, wanting, hell needing, to forget the night that started all of this._

_She shutters at the thought of having to touch him again to dress his wound. They have to stop having run-ins like this. She breathes deeply, preparing herself mentally, physically, emotionally to resist the wonderful pleasure she finds in his touch._

* * *

Cameron rubbed her eyes gently, trying to erase the colorful stars blaring across her vision. She eased herself up, he head feeling much better than before. She knew where she was, she just didn't remember getting there. 

Slowly she stood up, wondering where Chase was. She smelled something wonderful coming from the kitchen. It reminded her of so long ago, her mother standing at the stove and her father reading the paper at the table. She missed the normalcy in her life that she had growing up, what her parents had. She wanted it for herself.

She walked into the kitchen and heard a loud sizzle as Chase dropped a handful of peppers into the frying pan. Cameron snuck up from behind, wrapped her arms around his middle, and kissed him gently behind the ear. "Smells good," she commented as the peppers and onions hissed loudly.

"It's almost ready," he responded without reacting to her touch.

"What's wrong?" Cameron pulled back and moved to his side. "Robert?"

"Nothing. Just a lot to think about, I guess." He phrased it this was on purpose, not wanting to lie to her despite how he feared she was using him.

She sighed. "I know. I want to stay here. It's so familiar to me. But if we moved away, we could start over." He couldn't help himself from giving her a sideways glance. "We could get away from it all."

"From what?" He had no past here, really. Only what was at the hospital, but he was away from it already. That was his life.

"From everything. From our old selves. From being thought of as ducklings. From House."

Chase seethed. He hated House more than he ever had before, more than he thought possible. But he didn't hate him for being immoral or irrational. This time, it was for knowing it all. For being right.

"Just think about it," said Cameron while sitting down at the table. "We could be Robert and Allison, not Chase and Cameron. We could be different people. Better people." She sounded dreamy, but Chase knew she'd never really change.

"Yeah, I guess," he replied, his mind elsewhere. He set the pan down on the table and then did the same with one containing sausages.

They served themselves and ate in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

Cameron wondered what was causing Chase to act so distant. He'd been the one who was so persistent to start a relationship, why was he acting so standoffish? Maybe he just needed a pick-me-up.

"Rob, why don't you go change into your pajamas? I'll clean up and we can watch a movie."

"Okay, then." His voice had lost its usual curiosity and spark.

He wandered to the bedroom, taking his time to change out of eh suit he was still wearing from his meeting. And when he saw House. He walked to his dresser, stubbing his toe on the bedpost. He cursed quietly and heard Cameron shifting through his movies.

"Rob, where's the DVD remote?" she called.

"Uhh, somewhere in there. Just look around." He honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd had time to watch a movie. He wondered why he even owned a DVD player to begin with.

Cameron opened a drawer in one of the end tables next to the couch, wishing she knew what the remote looked like. Resting on top of useless clutter was a file, a fresh file with a PPTH stamp right in the center. With no thought of any privacy breaching, perhaps from three years of sneaking into people's houses as a job requirement, she opened the file.

Her eyes scanned the page quickly, a know forming in her stomach. She noticed the shredding and folding of the corner, and bit her lip. Another job offer, but why wouldn't he tell her about it? She was offended, hurt. _Why would he keep this a secret?_

Chase slowly made his way to the living room. He froze in the doorway, seeing Cameron's lap filled with his file and her eyes filled with anger. "Shit, Allison…"

"What the hell, Robert? When were you going to mention this? _Were_ you going to mention this?" She was yelling, but hiding her tears. Or maybe this time, there were none.

"Yeah," said his lips, with all signs of a no in his eyes.

"Why?" she pleaded desperately. "I…I thought I could…I trusted you Chase." Her eyes were bloodshot now, but there still were no tears.

"So did I," he replied coldly.

"What?" Tears were now visible, but had not yet fallen from her eyes. She hadn't lost it yet.

"I got a good job offer now, am I fixed enough for you to leave me alone now, Cameron?" Chase's face grew red and he could feel the hot rush of blood pulsing through his veins, threatening to explode.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she screamed, threatening to wake the neighbors.

"Oh, don't play dumb now, Cameron. You're an addict. You only wanted me because I was broken. Well guess what? I'm better now. I fixed myself, and I didn't- I don't need your help." He wanted to shove her away from him, out of his life. He didn't want their past, or their futures, and he certainly didn't want them together now. "Just…just go. Find someone else's misery to feed off of. Go same the world one sorry bastard at a time." His voice wasn't as loud as before, but the tone was still harsh and detached, not like him at all, inhumane really.

"You sound like House," she spat, her voice also quieter. "And you're wrong, I didn't want you because you're broken. But you're right. You don't need me. And I don't need you." She grabbed her keys off the coffee table, opened the door and turned around to face him one last time. "Good bye, Chase." The door slammed shut behind her, and she walked out just as abruptly as she'd walked into his life. He stood frozen, never to forget the single tear that had graced her cheek.

* * *

**AN: And review! Even if you hate it, please, they keep me amused...and inspired. Keep them coming please!**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Sorry this took so long. It's been busy. Thanks to my frequent reviewers, you guys keep me going. There will probably be one or two chapters left after this, (most likely one) so it's coming to a close. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chase finally gave up on sleep and rolled out of bed at 4:30. He stood next to it for a moment, confirming that the bed was indeed as empty as it had felt. The pillow near the window was still indented from Cameron's head, and the curtains were still open because she liked to wake with the sun on her face. 

Chase stormed around the bed and ripped the curtains across the rod, closing them against the outside world. He then fluffed up the pillow to get rid of her mark, but the sweet strawberry scent still lingered in the air. He chucked the pillow against the wall and ripped his sheets from the bed. He needed to wash every trace of her away. He needed to forget her forever. He needed to stop loving her.

He stomped to the dresser and pulled open the second drawer. He had her keep her clothes in it back when they were 'friends with benefits', or coworkers with benefits, really. She'd never come back for them, and he hadn't dared bring them to work, the ridicule would have been overwhelming. Chase imagined his small section of her closet and eh wanted to tear his way down the streets and get his stuff back. If he couldn't have her, she couldn't have him either. _You never really had her to begin with, though. But she's always had you_, he thought bitterly. He jerked the drawer out of the dresser and dumped it onto the floor. She folded her clothes to allow for maximum use of the drawer, and then ironed them in the mornings. Chase scoffed at how he would love to watch her iron, how he'd wish she'd iron his clothes too while he made her coffee. They'd make small talk and gently kiss each other at frequent intervals. Almost like they were married.

Chase threw away this fantasy along with all of the others. He began kicking and crumpling her clothes, wishing the wrinkles were permanent. But then her realized that if Cameron ever came back for her clothes, she'd iron away the wrinkles easily, just like she'd easily let go of him.

He looked in disgust at the mess of her on his floor. He feared she'd show up to get her stuff back, and the last thing Chase wanted was to see her again, face to face. Chase dug an old box out from the hall closet, dumped the few hats it held onto the floor, and tossed her every article of clothing into it.

Chase decided to work his way through each room, sorting out almost everything he owned into three piles: Cameron's, wash, and throw away.

He started in the bedroom. Every piece of his clothing he could ever remember her complimenting was to be either washed or thrown out. The clothes that she'd grimaced at were brought back to the front of the closet to be worn more frequently. He threw away several pairs of his boxers that he knew she liked. He tossed her book and lotion and God knows what else was on her bedside table into her box. It was filling quickly. He stepped back to ski9m the room, with a strong desire to throw the bed out too.

He walked into the living room. There wasn't much in here that made him think of Cameron. He took any dirty dished of hers that they'd been too lazy to do and placed them on top of his clothes and sheets. Chase opened the junk drawer and took out the picture of her one of their patients had taken and given to him. Chase stood there for a while, staring at her intently. She was beautiful; there was no denying it. He supposed there was no harm in keeping this to remember by in the coming years. This was better to look at than the image of her leaving that was running through his head.

Slowly, chase walked to his room and placed the picture in her now empty dresser drawer. He then made his ay back to the living room and scrubbed down the couch with some upholstery cleaner.

Next was the bathroom. She had a small collection of make up and such in here. He took especially long to move it tot her box. Carefully, so she wouldn't be able to tell, he thoroughly examined everything. He gazed at her gold eye shadow that made her green eyes so beautiful and bright. He stared at he deep red lipstick, realizing that most of it ended up on his body anyway. He threw it out. There was no way any other man would get smothered with the same lipstick.

In the kitchen, Chase removed every dish, cup, and utensil they'd ever used together. He stacked them in the wash pile. Even if they were already clean, she'd still touched them, and as far as he was concerned, Cameron's touch was a curse.

He walked back into the bathroom and noticed he'd forgotten her brush. He tossed it into her box and wondered how many of her hairs littered the apartment, how many of her eyelashes had fallen to the floor, how many tears were seeping into his things. _Why did she touch everything? Why does everything remind me of her?_

He vacuumed and dusted away every one of her cells left behind. He mopped her tears off of his cold kitchen tiles. Finally, he decided his house had been Cameron-proofed. As far as anyone knew, she'd never been here before. Chase closed her box, taped it shut, scribbled 'Cameron' hastily on the top, and sat it outside his apartment door. This way, if she came for it, he wouldn't have to see her, or if someone stole it, her stuff would be gone from here anyway. He didn't really care if she got it all back, as long as Chase never had to look at her again, he knew he'd be fine.

He returned to his wash pile and threw his sheets into the washer. Her scent, her taste, her touch, was all so sweet, and for a moment he regretted washing away Cameron. But Chase knew that he'd never learn how to resist her again otherwise, so he poured in the detergent and set it to the highest temperature. He returned back to the wash pile, carrying all of the dishes to the kitchen. He turned on the scalding water and used an entire container of dish soap to thoroughly scrub away every bit of Cameron on them. Chase looked at the clock on the stove. 9:43. He'd been at it for over five hours, erasing and scrubbing and cleansing he away, but she still scarred his memory. The way her fingertips brushed delicately against his cheeks, how cute her voice was when she got defensive, her wonderful yet forbidden taste; all this he needed to rid himself of.

Chase stripped hastily and climbed into the shower. He turned the water on as hot as possible, so his pink fleshy hands from the dishes would match the rest of his body. He looked down at the bites, cuts, and other marks left from their rough nights. The nail marks in his chest had scabbed over. He scrubbed at them, erasing them away, erasing Cameron away, causing himself to bleed again. Vaguely he wondered if he'd scar and carry a reminder of her, printed plainly on his chest, forever.

* * *

_She walks in apprehensively, hoping he'll be here. She's already checked his empty apartment, and seeing his car parked out front, she'd walked to the nearest pub. Scanning the dimly lit bar, she spots him sitting alone with a sandwich in front of him. She draws a deep breath, marches over, and sits down next to him. _It's time now_, she tells herself. "Hey."_

_He looks over, surprised. "Hey," he returns, his eyes sliding up and down her body quickly, just to make sure she's real. 'You look great."_

_She tries to brush this off. How could he be so relaxed at times like these? Her palms feel sweaty and her face flushed. "You know House firing you has nothing to do with you?" She knows he's not perfect, he's got plenty of flaws that she really hates, she just can't think of any right now. But she also knows he doesn't deserve this, and he needs to know it too, know that she knows._

"_The way doesn't matter," he says simply, and she wonders how he's taking this so lightly._

"_Foreman will end up staying, and House will call you and yell at you for not showing up." She surprises herself with her matter-of-fact tone. She wants to believe this as much as she knows that it's not true._

"_It's…it's okay. He's right, it's time for a change."_

_No, she pleads inside, his tone so soft that she thinks maybe he really is okay with this._

"_You were right too, the whole it's Tuesday, I like you…it was silly."_

_She wants to scream, to tell him how she can't work without him. How she almost looked forward to Tuesdays in a strange way. She liked knowing he'd always be there; always care. But now he's blowing it off as silly. She wishes she could just come home and cry. She doesn't realize the look of udder pity on her face for him, for her._

"_Oh, don't give me that look. Don't feel sorry for me." She loves his controlling tone; at least someone knows what's going on. But she also hates how much he doesn't want sympathy; need it. "Getting this job was _the_ best thing that's ever happened to me. And losing it? Well I…think it's…gonna be good too."_

_She hears the hope, not confidence, in his voice, and realized how uncertain the future really is for him. "I'll miss you," she says before she can stop herself. She does honestly mean it though._

_He looks confused for a moment. "Have you got time for a drink or something?" he questions._

"_I…I think I should go." She feels awful for giving him mixed signals, but she won't let herself get close to him. She knows how it will end, and she can't deal with losing anyone else._

_He shrugs, and she sees the hurt slide from his eyes quickly. He's used to her rejection, just not sure why there's so much of it. "Yeah."_

_She stands up, quickly and quietly, and exits the building. She rushes to her car and sits behind the wheel, her keys still in her pocket. She's confused and alone. _How long can I detach myself from everyone? Will I be alone forever?_ She drives off finally, scared of who she is and who she'll be. _

* * *

Cameron woke blearily, wondering when she'd actually fallen asleep. Yesterday hit her fast and hard, and she erupted into a fresh wave of tears that ran down the stale trails still on her cheeks. She needed to sort things out; physically, mentally, emotionally. 

She got out of bed, the side Chase had always used, and opened her closet. Off in the back corner were his clothes, neatly hanging. She scooped them in her arms and laid them across the bed. Gently, Cameron sat down next to them. She laid on her back the rolled over onto them, picturing Chase there under her. She inhaled, willing herself to believe he was there. She failed. As much as she could smell his fresh, clean sent, fell the crisp threads of his shirt, she knew he wasn't really there. She gingerly picked up her head, noticing the tears that stained his shirt.

Cameron got up again, changed into one of his t-shirts, and walked into the living room. Her eyes rested on the spot next to the door where they'd first kissed. She pressed her back against the wall. The surprising cold of it made her body freeze up. She closed her eyes, imagining Chase's arms around her, instantly warming and relaxing her.

She put on a pot of coffee, remembering how he'd often hand her a mug at work. Cameron picked up her mug from the counter and carried it into the living room. She sat on the couch, recalling Chase sitting in the same spot. She needed to sort out her emotions, never had she gotten this dependent on a man. With her husband, well, she knew from the beginning he'd die. She never had relied on him to be there.

What made Chase so different, then? She knew she liked him, wanted to be with him, cared about him. But did she love him? Had she loved Mike?

Mike was her first true love. She'd loved him practically the instant she met him. Was he the start of her addiction? She supposed he was, if Chase was really right about her.

Why did she marry Mike? Because she loved him. Why did she fall for Joe? Because she loved him, they'd been through a lot together, and she'd trusted him not to leave her.Why did she like House? That one was still a mystery. Maybe it was because he was damaged, but one case was hardly an addiction. And finally, why Chase?

He was sweet, smart, and good-looking, but there was more to it than that. Chase had always been there, and she figured he always would be. As long as he was there to remind her on every Tuesday, she felt safe, like he had first dibs on her. And she liked that.

But then House fired him. Those few days without Chase had been rough. A lot of work to distract her, but every spare second was spent thinking of him, how much she'd missed him. How she wouldn't be able to work without him.

She'd resigned for the man. She'd spent every day with the man. She'd used every excuse she could to sleep with the man. She trusted him, needed him. She felt comfort in his heart, safety in his arms. If that wasn't love, then Cameron had no idea what the hell was.

The world seemed to melt away, and all she could think of was how she'd left him, let him go. In a swift movement of realization, she shot off the couch and out the door, hoping she'd find him.

* * *

Chase looked from the folder to the phone. He knew he wasn't thinking rationally, but he never did have much common sense to begin with. Chase picked up the phone, dialed, and waited. 

"Hello, Dr. Cuddy's office. How may I help you?"

"Can you direct me right to her please?" He sounded nervous, but he'd expected to.

"One minute, please." He hated how the secretary handled this so nonchalantly. How she didn't care he was making a major life decision based on his anger.

"Hello?" the voice cut through his thoughts.

"Dr. Cuddy, it's Chase. I'm calling about that…other offer."

"Yes, you've made your decision?"

"Yeah. I'm taking it." He hoped she didn't hear the sudden surge of anger in his voice; anger for Cameron, anger for House, anger for himself.

"Are you sure?" She seemed to know he wasn't thinking rationally, and he hated this about his ex-boss's boss.

"Yeah, I'm sure." He forced his voice to sound determined to take the job.

"Okay, then. Why don't you come down here tomorrow afternoon? I want to call them when you're here. Around one okay?" He figured she knew more than she was letting on, but silently thanked her for not prying.

"Yeah. Sure. Good bye." His mind was spinning as he hung up the phone without waiting for a response. Everything felt so bitter. It wasn't like this with Cameron around. As he thought this, he realized that he simply couldn't pack up and leave Princeton without closure. The last thing he wanted to do was see her again, but he didn't want to leave while still loving her.

* * *

Chase walked around the back of the diner. Slowly, he traced the same path that he had with Cameron. He brushed his fingertips across the petals of the flowers he had picked for her so long ago. When she still had rejected him. _Nothing's changed_, he thought miserably. He'd planned on sitting on their bench to remind himself of all the pain she'd caused him to make it easier to leave. But he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw a slender figure already sitting there. Before he could turn and run away from her, she spoke. 

"Rob."

He couldn't move. He felt his feet turn to stone too heavy to lift and his brain melt to mush too stupid to think.

Cameron stood up and slowly, precautiously, made her way over to him. "Rob, hi," she said breathily. She'd been waiting for him, hoping, praying even, that he'd come. And now that he stood before her, she didn't know what to say.

"What, Cameron?" he finally managed to frostily blurt out.

"Come here." She led him to the bench, his feet surprisingly following. "You brought me her to tell me that you loved me. Now, I want to do the same."

His jaw hung open slightly, at a loss for words.

"I realized that I couldn't be without you. I was wrong. I _do_ need you. Robert, I love you." The hot and humid atmosphere felt like an additional weight to the already heavy situation.

He stood up and pried himself away from her gaze. "Cameron, I've spent my whole day getting rid of you. Physically, mentally, emotionally. You can't just come crawling back and expect me to take you. I don't love you anymore."

She too stood up, her eyes welling with tears. This wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to detach himself, from emotions or her, he was supposed to bring them together and keep them that way. "No, Robert," she moaned, tears falling freely.

"I'm sorry. I really don't need you." He stuck his hands in his pockets and focused on a brilliant blue flower woven up a fence somewhere behind her. "And don't call me Robert." As much as he'd liked it, now it was unnecessary. A reminder of who they were, not who he was.

"Chase." She walked over to him, inches away giving him to choice but to look into her watering, hurt eyes. "Love me," she commanded. "Please."

She was sobbing now, but he no longer felt the urge to comfort her. He just wanted to leave.

Cameron slowly reached up and grabbed his face, running her fingers through his hair. She closed her eyes, letting a few fresh tears fall, and gently pressed her lips to his.

Chase didn't move. His hands stayed in his pockets, his eyes stayed open, staring at the mascara that was melting under her eyes.

He felt her sob harder, her body almost convulsing. Still, Chase didn't return her kiss, but kept his lips in a closed, straight line, waiting for her to stop. She pressed harder, but he wouldn't give in. Her arms pulled tightly, trying to commit the emotional with physical. Finally, she drew back.

"Chase, please." She sounded so lost and insignificant. "I love you, really. Just in a different way than I loved Mike. More," she added meekly. "Just kiss me."

He didn't know whether to believe her nor now, but he did know that he didn't share her feelings. He started to leave, and she pushed herself into him more, sobbing harder. "I love you," she cried while pounding her fists into his chest. He didn't flinch, didn't react at all. "Tell me you love me. Kiss me, Chase."

He stepped back and peeled away from her in the muggy air. Chase hardly noticed that he crushed a daffodil under his foot. He felt sorry for leaving such a broken down woman alone, but being around her seemed to suck all of the life out of him. More than being away from her did. He turned his back to her.

"Wait," she wept. "You're telling me you feel nothing? Absolutely nothing?"

He stopped, recognizing the words as his own. Turning slowly, he faced her one last time. "Yeah, I guess I am." With that he walked out of the garden, away from a relationship, away from Cameron, away from love.

* * *

**AN: So love it, hate it, I want to know. I'm open to suggestions, but I can't guarantee I'll be able to fit them in. Even if you've reviewed a previous chapter, feel free to review this one too. ** **Next chapter up soon...**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Okay, so here is the final chapter. I'd like to apologize for how long it took, but school started, and that tends to suck up a lot of time. This is where the title comes into play/gets explained. Kind of random, but oh well. Unfortunately, I have heard that Chase and Cameron won't hook up in season four (after putting them together in the season finale, what the hell?), but David Shore said he would like to put them together just because it'd be awkward for them to work together now that they 'broke up', or something like that. I was fuming when I found out. Anyways, what I love about being a first time author is that no one knows how I end things. Hehe. Sorry, I'll stop rambling now. Thanks to my reviews, and enjoy!**

* * *

_She uncertainly walks to face him again, wondering how many times she'll have to do this before she finally works up the nerve to tell him. She stands at the door, holds her hand to the bell, and then drops it back to her side._

_Slowly, she retreats. She stops a few steps down, considering the pros and cons of leaving. She's been over it a thousand times before, and she knows what she wants to do. If only she could…_

_Suddenly the door opens and he's staring at her, entirely confused, yet she thinks she sees a shadow of amusement slide through his eyes, his smile. "Hi."_

"_It's Tuesday." She knows she can beat around the bush, make excuses, or simply leave him standing here, but she's not weak and she's not turning back now. (Because she's already given herself away.)_

"_Uhh…no." He grins and she realizes that he now has the upper hand. "It's Monday." All he has to do is say no now, and that would be the end of it all._

"_I know, it's just…" She braves stepping up to his level, pouring all earnestness from her eyes to his. "I just didn't feel like waiting." _Or couldn't wait_, she thinks._

_But every last molecule of doubt is removed when he smiles warmly at her; he's finally won. She can't help but return the smile out of relief, out of true happiness._

_He leans forward, with a confidence that he's always lacked around her, and kisses her. Not passionately, not with the hungry fervor that he always has before. This is different. This is soft and gentle and sweet. It's every bit as simple as it is complicated. It's the end of their feud, the start of their relationship. And as casual and chaste as it is, it's their first real kiss. And she never wants it to end._

* * *

Cameron sat back on the bench, her eyes burning with hurt and embarrassment. She glared at the stupid flowers, hating them for bringing her so much pain. 

_It wasn't them. It was him_, she told herself, unwilling to believe that Chase could do this to her. _They're always following me. Every time we break up_, she thought. _True, this was our first attempt at a real relationship, but how many times have we ended it?_

She remembered the first time they'd slept together. He'd told her it shouldn't happen again. She thought hard, racking her brain for every detail from then. She'd walked out of the locker room, and…_was it then? Yes._ Then she'd found a white rose on the floor. She'd assumed it had fallen from a bouquet of a patient's, and she'd picked it up. Delicately caressing the petals, Cameron had been reminded of how dirty she'd really felt. She'd thrown it out. _One._

Cameron recalled when it was her turn to end it. Chase had wanted more, and she wasn't sure. So, by her strange works of logic at the time, she had detached herself from emotions and had broken it off. _Flowers?_ She questioned, cocking her head to the side as her tears began to ease up. _Sure. There were flowers all over the property. There were clusters of them at every entrance and exit,_ she painfully looked back at. _Two._

And then there were the flowers that hadn't been stolen. Cameron rested her chin in her hands, willing them to turn to Chases's. She'd recognized the same bring bloom on one of the paths she'd perused earlier, but knowing Chase, he'd probably paid the restaurant manager for them. She'd told him she didn't want a relationship with him. _Not that you didn't have feelings for him_, she reminded herself. _Three._

There was the last time they had come here. _How could I have not loved him then?_ She questioned herself. Sure, there had been flowers, they were the same damn flowers staring at her then as they were now. _Four._

Of course there was their real break up. This one wasn't hard to remember, it was so recent and the pain was still so strong. Cameron had stormed out, her keys jangling loudly as the door slammed behind her. And apparently the person across the hall had had someone who'd cared about them, because outside their door had been a large pot of bright marigolds. She'd considered picking them up and slamming them too against the wall, but inside she'd know it wouldn't really take away the hurt. And she'd stormed off, with tears as strong as a downpour and her mind as clouded as one too. _Five._

Cameron closed here eyes, letting the evening's events replay in her head, bringing on a fresh wave of tears. _Tonight. Six._

* * *

Nausea crept into Chase's stomach as he opened the car door. _Why do you say what's on your mind so much?_ True, Chase tried not to reveal much about himself, but Cameron always made him say stupid things. Always.

_You could have had her back there, _his head screamed._ You had her wrapped around your finger? Why? Why?_

Truth be told, Chase knew why he'd walked away. He just wasn't sure how. It dawned on him that back there, he'd really stopped loving her. And though it was only moments ago, the walk to the car had been an eternity. _How do you feel now?_ his head questioned impatiently. He didn't know.

He slammed his head backward into the headrest. _Why does Cameron make everything so fricken complicated?_ He knew he couldn't turn around and accept her now. He didn't know if he loved her and he didn't know if she'd take him back now, but he did know things would never be the same between them.

He drove home, exhaustion from the night before finally hitting him like a brick wall. He crashed in his bed, with an empty feeling still engulfing his entire self.

* * *

A screaming child woke Cameron. She sat up on the couch and rubbed her bloodshot eyes as she turned the TV off. She looked up at the large clock on the wall. 8:19. Sighing, she trudged to the kitchen, but nothing looked appetizing.

Cameron had finally stopped pacing at around 2 am. She'd lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. She'd moved to the couch in hopes that Chase would invade her thoughts less there. She'd been wrong. She'd turned on the TV to distract herself, or perhaps for companionship, and had drifted in and out of sleeping, waking about every half hour. _How can I let one man do this to me?_ She hated him. And she loved him. And she hated herself for loving him. But she certainly didn't love herself for hating him.

Cameron knew there was no place she'd rather be than in his arms. His warm embrace, his soothing voice; this is where she belonged. Where she was safe. Where she was loved.

* * *

Chase rolled over and stared at the clock. It was almost one this time, so he finally decided to get up. His head felt too heavy, but he didn't remember drinking at all last night. _Just turning her away, _he thought. That was enough to make him feel drugged up.

He wandered into the kitchen but knew he couldn't eat. Chase had too many things to sort out, and food was just not a priority.

He wished this could be as simple as one of their cases. _Simple,_ Chase scoffed. _I never thought I'd call them that._ He considered using a makeshift whiteboard to sort out his emotions, but decided against it. He knew the writing would stare back at him scathingly, mocking whichever path he chose, the negative of each choice written plainly in from of him. No, he'd sort it out in his head, just like he always had.

* * *

_It's late Monday night, but he decides to go for a walk anyway. He has no idea what to do with his new freedom, and he doesn't really know his neighborhood too well either. So he figures a walk might do him some good, might clear his mind._

_He opens the door and smells a fire burning nearby. And then he sees her, standing a few steps down._

"_Hi," he says instinctively. _She's got to stop finding you like this. It'll make it harder to let go._ But then he realizes, hopes, that maybe why she keeps showing up is so they don't have to let go._

"_It's Tuesday," she says a little too quickly. His suspicions are confirmed, but he's not the least bit worried. Actually, his heart and soul have raised ten notches and he can't keep the grin off his face._

"_Uhh…no, it's Monday," he points out jokingly, and for once he actually understands her motive._

"_I know, it's just…" she tentatively steps up to him and he's grateful that he's not the one sweating bullets this time. He's actually laughing inside. "I didn't feel like waiting."_

_He finally has the desperation he's yearned from her. She wants him. She needs him. He's not alone._

_He can't seem to hide the smile from before, but it appears to be contagious. He concentrates hard on remembering this image: her pretty face lit up, glowing, in a rare moment of true happiness in her. He freezes this picture as he leans in and kisses her sweetly. Her lips feel firm as they press into his, and he wonders how something so simple can be so perfect._

* * *

The shrill of the phone ringing brought Chase out of his daydream. He let it ring. The only one who was important enough to answer for was Cameron, but he still didn't know what too say to her. It was too soon. He wasn't ready.

"Chase? It's Cuddy. I'm wondering where you are; your appointment was over an hour ago. Just… call me back as soon as you get this. Thanks. Bye." She sounded almost concerned for Chase's well being. He didn't buy it. Or didn't want to, rather. Having her tempt him with this new job was just too much right now. Too distracting from what he needed to get done.

Chase knew he had a lot to sort out, but one thought remained persistent: did he love her? He wished the answer were as simple as it should be, but he knew it'd take a lot more work to get there. Still, he was willing.

Did he hate her? _No_, he thought strongly. How long had he liked her? _Since you first saw her_, he thought, much less strongly. Why? Obviously she was smart and beautiful. But that wasn't all. She always stuck to her guns, no matter what the odds. She was a woman of mystery; he could never get a good, full read on her. She was amazing to him. She was everything to him. Even now.

Of course he loved her. How could he not? Last night he'd been angry, but he knew that he could trust her. If she said she really cared for him, then he could believe her. He knew that now. He just didn't know if now was too late.

* * *

Cameron sat on her couch with a carton of ice cream resting on her leg. She'd finally resigned to food in the late afternoon, and since then she hadn't stopped eating.

The TV was on again, but in all honesty Cameron had no idea what she was watching. There was only one man on her mind, and she could feel each of her breaths become more labored without him beside her.

Cameron had gone in and out of crying spells, had remembered all of the good and all of the bad with Chase, and had regretted every off thing she'd said to him. She'd trusted him. And strangely enough, she still did. He would have told her about the job, she knew it. She should have given him time.

And though he'd harshly accused her of being an addict, she knew there was truth in what he's said. She liked to fix people; she'd even picked it for a career. But even if Chase was fixed, she still wanted him more than any broken man. If only she could tell him.

* * *

The day dwindled to night, as the annoyingly perky sun was replaced by bright stars that were then covered by dark clouds. A light rain fell to the earth, but Chase knew that he had to see her. He couldn't stand to be alone anymore.

He grabbed a jacket and ran out the door, figuring he'd walk to few blocks to her place. He pleaded and begged to God that she wouldn't turn him away.

* * *

In an enlightening moment of understanding, Cameron knew that she had to see him. The rain had strengthened in the past few minutes, but it was the last of her worries. She bolted out the door, slamming it behind her. She'd go tearing up and down every street in town if she had to. Anything to find him.

* * *

Chase jogged anxiously in what had now become a steady downpour. _About halfway there_, he thought to himself foggily, adrenaline pounding in his ears, through his brain. _Almost there._

* * *

Cameron used her long legs for long strides down the road, wishing she'd grabbed a coat. She stared ahead, and then blinked in shock. It couldn't be…

There he was, heading toward her in a brisk walk. His soaked hair fell in his face and his t-shirt clung tightly to his drenched chest. A bolt of lightning cracked the sky as she ran.

And then he saw her; wet curls bouncing on her shoulders as she ran for him. He stood shell-shocked, how did she know to come for him?

Cameron sprinted forward and threw herself into Chase. She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly and buried her face into his shoulder. He grabbed her back, pulling her as close to him as he could. She felt her feet leave the ground; they were spinning, they were flying.

Chase finally set her back on the ground and Cameron leaned on him for support, her legs willing to give out any second now.

"I'm sorry," she cried out to him, pouring all her heart into each syllable at the rain sent shivers down her spine. "It's all my fault."

"No! Allison. No. I'm sorry. It's all my fault." Neither of them could bear the weight of their own guilts any longer. Both of them wanted to be forgiven.

"Robert," Cameron rebutted, "I should have given you time. I trust you. And you were right. I was an addict. But now all I want is you." She paused and looked him straight in the eyes, making them feel like the only two people in the world. "I love you."

Chase smiled, he was no longer afraid. "Allison." God, how he'd missed using her first name. "I should have told you about the deal with Cuddy sooner. And I shouldn't have listened to House. I trust you too. And I love you too."

Cameron beamed warmly at him. "I lied. I didn't choose to sleep with you because you were the one I was least likely to fall in love with. You were the most likely." She stopped; drawing up all of the courage she could to admit these things to him, to herself. "I was just too scared to admit it. To myself. But I can now. I guess…I've liked you for quite awhile," she said sheepishly. Chase chucked softly. "I guess it started the first time we slept together." She looked embarrassed and Chase looked away, wanting to give her privacy at the same time he wanted to absorb her every word. "The meth let me do what I wouldn't allow myself to normally." Her voice sounded weak and Chase didn't know if she was crying because of the rain. He shuttered as he returned his gaze to her, wondering which droplets she'd produced and which had fallen on her face.

Cameron looked around quickly; drawing herself out of his brilliant blue eyes that glowed in contrast to the black, wet sky. She laughed, seeming relieved. "There aren't any flowers," she muttered foolishly, more to herself than him.

"Huh?"

"There are no flowers. It'll work out this time." Her deep green eyes were lit with all the sincerity of an innocent child.

Cameron glanced at his confused but amused expression and knew nothing could go wrong. She leaned forward and kissed him.

His hands moved up and down her back, her's raking his hair. His mouth engulfed hers, delivering all of sweetness and seduction together. The rain fell freely, but neither of the cared. They clung to each other for dear life; each of one's fibers needing the other's to live, to survive. It was beautiful. It was perfect. It was love.

At long last they drew back. "You should take the job," Cameron said with certainty. "We'd still see each other."

Chase looked momentarily surprised, but pleased. "Oh, okay. I'll think about it."

"Under one condition," she said, grinning at his puzzlement. "Don't buy me any flowers."

"All right," he agreed, not knowing or really caring why. All Chase needed was Cameron. All Cameron needed was Chase.

They wrapped one arm around each other and strolled down the street, soaked to the bone. Neither cared. As long as they had each other, they'd take whatever life threw at them.

* * *

**AN: All right, I'm finally finished! I actually started writing this on July 15th, so I'll miss it, even though it feels good to be done. And a nice, romantic ending for the two of them. (Don't expect them all to end that way.) So what'd you think? Questions? Comments? Thanks to all of my previous reviewers once again, and I hope you all liked it!**


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